WOMP

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I actually do wish there were yearly award ceremonies for everyone. I really think a trophy would help push me in the right direction right now. That’s all I want… the adoration of thousands and a golden object to tell me how much I matter. Do the porn awards have trophies shaped like breasts and cocks? Probably, right? Should I google this? I’m not saying I want a trophy shaped like a pair of balls, but I’d like the option. Can't Google cos I'm at work.

Yesterday we got home from grandma's house. 12:13 PM. I haven't brought all of my old boxes inside from the garage because I did other things like finding my old marine bio textbook and studying up on pinnipeds for reasons I can’t recall right now, also “napping” and making a pot of vegetable soup. I put napping in quotes because I need to separate myself from the reality of my sleeping habits lately.

Here’s a statistic for you, Karin: 7 out of 10 living things think there is something wrong with you procrastinating massive amounts of unpacking and sorting and purging with Googling things, and then making soup, to procrastinate getting your life back together. I divided one box into "trash things" and "storage things" and now our spare room is a wreck. Because I decided to move some stuff from one closet to another. I've rendered both closets unusable.

So now instead of one half finished product, I have two half finished products. I essentially doubled what I wanted to do before I went to bed last night, literally setting myself up for failure. There is no way I am bringing all those boxes in tonight after work and Zumba.

Anyway, I just wanted to publicly declare that along with life participation trophies, I think The Purge should be real.