Tuesday, January 12, 2016

I have been in hibernation mode for several weeks now. I'm sure you've noticed. While I deal with this current slump, I am focusing on recharging and self-preservation. Too often I fight the downswings and attempt to churn out anything -- literally anything -- in an act of defiance. This time is different and I'm noticing my anxiety going away quicker.

I'm hoping to plant a few seeds this weekend and become more present online again. Ideas are swirling and I plan to have the energy to fulfill them this time... until, inevitably, this downswing happens again.

But now I try to work against bad feelings by getting out of bed. It’s the first step. It’s the hardest fucking step when your mind doesn’t feel well. But it’s so important – get the fuck out of bed. Then do something that doesn’t sound terrible, and do it outside of your living quarters.

I’ve found that nothing is as terrible for me as being stagnant. I need constant stimulation. It doesn’t need to come from an outside source – not from a place nor another person – it can be my own doing. I need new. I need fresh. I need things that make me furrow my brow in curiosity or events that bring wide, open mouthed grins to my face.

I can feel it's going to happen soon.