So last week my eyes and brain were assaulted when some unfortunate soul who is friends with me on Facebook posted some dumb shit link about dumb shits Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. It's all about how they're living their dumbest lives and you can read about it here.

I took to this article immediately because it was noted that they live in Carpinteria -- a mere 10 miles from where I'm currently at in my life. "Huh," I thought. "I wonder why they're up there and not in, like, Malibu."

I read further to see that they, apparently, go to my favorite coffee shop every single day. Every day! They even let Spencer behind the counter to make his own drink, which is so totally dickish and like, exactly how I imagined him! Make your own coffee at home, dude. What?

So I mention this to Brad and we both kinda used The Secret without realizing it, because when we grabbed our coffee yesterday we were like, looking into each other's eyes and laughing and decided to take a walk. We weren't even thinking about a Speidi moment, but on our way back to the car, we realized the slow ass sidewalk hogger in front of us, who was bragging to some old bro about how "oh yeah, this place is the spot, it's always busy, busier than this usually" was none other than crystal-collecting reality TV buffoon Spencer Pratt himself.

If nothing else, I've learned that you should not waste your one The Secret moment on something as dumb as Spencer Pratt. I wish we had planted a better The Secret seed, but we didn't. We were too blinded by what was, and should have instead focused on what could have been.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Manifest worthwhile people into your life.

HAPPY MONDAY.