Fresnope nope nope

Monday, October 5, 2015

I can't really explain the vibes I get in Fresno. It's a strange mixture of sadness, boredom, claustrophobia, and restlessness. I love visiting Michael, who is potentially the most talented person I know, because we laugh until our insides feel like they're falling out. I left at 8:00 AM Saturday morning and powered through until I got to (I think?) Tulare -- a small town about 45 minutes south of Fresno proper.

I did a quick Yelp search for coffee and found a spot that had great reviews and claimed to have milk alternatives and legit espresso. I can't remember the name of the place, but I was looking forward to sitting outside and maybe even getting a quick bite to eat.

Turns out, there were close to 10 tables outside, 8 of which had dirty dishes on them; the other 2 had actual customers. I was bummed about it, and when I asked for almond milk, I was met with a shudder-smirk hybrid by the woman who, I'm guessing, didn't normally take orders or interact with customers. She didn't understand the iPad and eventually, the only other person working there had to put down a huge tray of dishes in order to help her. I found a table in the back near the bathrooms and was given a luke-warm latte with penis art on top.

It was fine and gave me the juice to forge ahead on my journey, but damn. I was too afraid to ask any questions about breakfast sandwiches, even though it was after 11:00 at this point and all I'd consumed was their mediocre espresso. Truly, I'm not a coffee snob but it was indicative of the general vibe of this area of California.

So the party was fun. I spent nearly 7 hours in Fresno and left. I don't like driving at night, especially by myself, and somewhere north of Bakersfield I started feeling my eyelids get heavy. With over 2 hours left on my drive, I was miserable. But I made it. I don't remember much of the tail-end of the trip, but I made it.

Yesterday was rainy all day. Brad and I hit up Target like a couple of tragic yoga moms at 8 in the morning, and then chilled large the rest of the day. I begged him to go to the pumpkin patch with me and since it was raining, nobody else was there. We grabbed a few pumps and laughed our gourds off because we were soaking.

Spent the rest of the day on the couch wearing fuzzy socks and eating buffalo chicken like a trashy Central Californian.