I've been fighting off some sort of sinus allergy bullshit for over a week now and I feel dead. Boring things I've been up to: ordering and picking up two desk chairs for my den, framing art, drinking 3 martinis while simultaneously eating the saltiest food I can find so that I won't have to pee as often, seeing Death Cab and Best Coast without having to pee at all, and napping.
I have an issue I want to discuss. Why was there an 11 year old sitting next to me at a Death Cab show? Also, why was everyone singing along to songs I've never heard before? What is this bullshit?
They played my favorite song of all time and I'm sorry, if you don't know this song, don't fucking speak to me:
Like, IS ANYONE EVEN MOVING TO THIS SONG?? ARE YOU EVEN AWARE OF WHAT DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE IS?! THIS IS DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, YOU DUMB SHITS.
I would say that this song singlehandedly changed my life when I was 16. Which I'm aware was 13 years ago.
Anyway, I was supes dupes bummed because they've gotten so Coldplayish but DUDE, they sound great and I love that Coldplay moment for them. They deserve it.
So the point is, my birthday is officially over and it's been a great one.
Been slumping into a depression for the last 24 hours because it's inevitable when you're me. I'm not feeling as creative as usual, maybe because I'm feeling sick, maybe because Mercury is retrograde as hell, maybe because I live on the coast and have to navigate waking up through a literal thick fog every morning. Haha -- complaining about living at the beach. That's so Karin! My brain is full of holes and I want to kill myself. But not really, please don't email me about it.
It's just really hard to not think about the fact that when I die, all of my problems will disappear. I cannot, or maybe there is something inside of me that will not, process why my problems and anxieties not existing makes me worried.
It's hormones, you guys. That's all it is. I'M FINE!