29... Feeling GREAT

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Well, it's my birthday. I turned 29 today.

Holy fucking shit, this creeped up fast. Way fast. Too fast.

Look at that number! Being born on 9/9, I have an affinity for 9's. It’s so… proportionate. Equal, well-rounded.

I don’t feel 29. I remember thinking how utterly adult an age like 29 sounded when I was younger. And something about past birthdays has always highlighted failure for me. But not this year! Since this time last year, I've realized a few of my long-term dreams. I'm living in a great place with a great guy. I have a job that lets me see UCLA doctors for free. I have my very own prescription of Ativan. And a new car!

I haven’t held a celebration since I was 26, and before that not since I was like, 11. I have anxiety like crazy that no one will show up, or that it will be boring, or… Whatever. I don’t know. I just don’t like it. I also think it comes across as really self-involved to hold a celebration for yourself.

Until now. This year I have been totally self-involved. This year I’ve become the most self-involved creature you have ever met. That’s a lie, by the way. The needs of others will always guilt-trip me into caring more about you than I care about me. It’s a horrible way to live… being nice.

But Brad and I are getting some friends together this weekend, maybe. I'm sure only 1 person will show up, but whatever. I’ll be drunk and awesome and someone sure as shit better buy me drinks, those fucking assholes I have in my life.


Speaking of that, here are 29 Unexpected Things I Learned Before My 29th Birthday (via HelloGiggles).