V appropriate timehop, Facebook. Spot on.
Had my doctor's appointment yesterday. With a real doctor in a real doctor's office, with nurses and stuff. We came to the conclusion that my genetic disposition to depression and anxiety, paired with my genetic ability to push my emotions aside to get shit done, has manifested itself physically and she is recommending cognitive AND physical therapy for a condition I've been dealing with privately. It's a lot of fun!
I've also gained ten very healthy pounds since moving home two years ago, which makes sense seeing as I was a borderline anoretic when I lived in Nashville, which was my physical manifestation of low self esteem and dissatisfaction with how my life was going. While my clothes still all fit the same, it looks like I have packed on some muscle (thank you, BARRE!) and maybe even trimmed some fat. She was glad to see my weight has stabilized after recognizing I was clinically underweight for a while (yeah yeah, BMI's are bullshit and all that; however, a person of my height and stature should not really be dipping below 115 pounds. Especially if it's because the only thing they are eating regularly is Xanax.)
I'm now understanding that concept of physical manifestations of mental illness and everything that's ever gone wrong with me makes perfect sense now. The neck pain from tension, the low body weight from stress, the acid reflux, etc. So now I have to research all of these recommended specialists so we can finally get to the root of all these issues and TO BE HONEST? WHAT AM I GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IF I FIX MYSELF?
I also got a vaccine. I'm not sure which one. Starts with a T -- I want to say tetanus? Tdap? I can lick rusty metal with abandon again! Wanna talk about vaccines? There's gotta be a yoga mom out there ready to fight!
Should also point out that she is thrilled with how my body handles birth control, sent off another year's supply without prodding my v-hole, checked all my moles and told me they were freckles, and! AND! You are looking at the new proud owner of her very own prescription of Ativan.
I'VE REALLY MADE IT NOW!