I got sent home early today because the expression on my face finally translated to what I'm feeling inside. I have to go back to our second campus tonight for another seminar that I'm facilitating (more on that later; last night I got to discuss media literacy and how it affects young children in developing a sense of self-worth and belonging, which turned into a feminist rant and we all cheered) but for now, my boss asked me to come home and rest.

I got home. I'm setting my laptop up on our new desk that we've had for three weeks that we finally put together and has just been sitting here. It's even cooler than I thought because it hides all of our cords. What a fucking dreamy desk.

So I'm checking my work email before I go crash out on the couch in the front room (this is the back room. You can see my turquoise couch and my silver ram head that hasn't been mounted over my desk yet because I am lazy. LAZY. His name is Gordon Ramsie.) and like, I looked down at all of the boxes and containers full of shit that I was storing in my hutch. I saw a hand-written note laying on top of some yarn, thread, fabric and decided to read it.

I have zero recollection as to who wrote it for me, but I know it was given to me in Nashville. I specifically remember not opening the letter for a few days because I was so downtrodden and hating everything.

I'm not religious but I decided to type it up in the event that it's something you needed to hear today.


The Lord just wants to bless you. He is so passionate about you. I feel like He is saying that in areas of your life where you've felt things being picked away at/from you, and there's only brown left to see, HE is saying "it's not dead! I am not taking away to punish, but to bring new life, growth, and abundance." I see Him shining over you like the sun shines on a sunflower. He is planting you, so that no matter what comes or goes, you are rooted in abundance. He wants to be known by you as "abundance." Everything that's lacking, everything that's dormant, everything that's hurting, He is bringing abundance. He is releasing joy over you and into you, a joy that surpasses everything in your circumstances. You are a rare flower that's only bloomed in Heaven and He is going to show you how that's cultivated, rooted, planted, and grown to abundance. The colors in you are colors only seen in Heaven. He is bringing definition and colo to the colorless and to the unclear. Your eyes are two diamonds to Him that radiate through His heart. Daughter, oh how you make me happy. My thoughts for you are more than the number of grains of sand. I want to woo your heart the way you have wooed mine. I am utterly confident in bringing you into my arms and undoing your heart with loving kindness all the days of your life...

Probably gonna frame it and hang it under Gordon Ramsie when I get a god damn minute.

Okay. Gotta respond to work emails and THEN SLEEP!