i wasn't talking about chips

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Speaking of chips and dip, do you understand that I once had a boyfriend who was under the impression that his mom invented five-layer dip? You know that shit that they have pre-made at grocery stores in the fat people section sauces and dip aisle and it’s fucking disgusting and American in the worst way and just like, TOO RACHAEL RAY-ISH FOR LIFE?

He thought his mom invented that stuff. Genuinely. Like, I bought one for him at the grocery store once because I thought, you know, it would be nice to do something for someone or something and he was like, “Oh, it’s my mom’s dip.”

YOUR MOM DIDN’T INVENT THAT DIP, BRO. YOUR MOM DIDN’T INVENT ANYTHING EXCEPT UNGRATEFUL MEN.

Annnnyyyway. I don’t know if there’s anything any of you can do with that information. Perhaps there’s a reality check or two in there for some sheltered ass fool who needs it real bad. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just ventilating on my blog about something that happened with party snacks eight years ago. Maybe! Mayyyybe.