I finished reading The Girl on the Train in exactly 1 day. I enjoyed it a lot. My enjoyment was squashed when I googled it, hoping to get lost in some message board drama about the book, and I saw that there will be a film adaptation of it. No. Stop it. Books are books. You are assaulting my imagination when you turn them into films with actors who look nothing like what my imagination told me they look like. Rachel Watson is not Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt is a beautiful and talented woman with no wordly struggles. Rachel Watson is a fat, divorced, depressed alcoholic. I would be a million times better at that role than any Emily Blunt. I hope her google alerts are going off like crazy right now. Do you hear me, Emily Blunt? You are so perfect that even when trying to insult and undermine your ability for a role, I am actually complimenting you. You are not Rachel Watson.

Christ.