My laptop battery has been dead for so long that when I finally plugged it in, it felt WEIRD TO TYPE ON. I am so used to my work computer (a brand new iMac) that this actually looks outdated and clunky.
I'm sitting in my kitchen. I just baked a batch of Mexican hot chocolate donuts. There are sprinkles all over the floor. Brad is playing guitar on the couch ten feet away. I want to go to bed because I am PMSing and I always want to go to bed.
Just looked up "causes for eyelid twitch" & it was like "Stress, Tiredness, Caffeine, Alcohol, Nutritional imbalances" & I was like, "LOL, girl." :(
I sent a snarky post-it to the LA Superior Court telling them to kindly stop sending mail to my parents' address because I don't live in LA county and you're dreaming if you think I'm gonna illegally go into another county to serve jury duty and if you want me to prove it, look me up in the DMV aka the Earth's Tracking System and then suck every dick on earth. I hope I don't get arrested.
I also remembered it's tax season. My annual time to be constantly worried about getting arrested and being the orangiest new black.
So yeah, don't worry, I am not regularly haunted by the bad decisions of my twenties, I am too busy with the impending doom of my thirties &/or jail.