Happy New Year, everyone. I hope you stay merry and safe and hopeful. I love 0.5% of you and I miss 0.5% of you and the other 99% of you I don’t even know. I don’t know why you read this, but thanks for making the Internet fun to write in. Thanks for writing nice e-mails and leaving nice Instagram comments because this is the dumb Internet and it’s not necessary to take the time out of your day to do such things. And even thank you to the people who e-mail me to tell me I’m stupid or vapid or annoying. That's really fun, because it’s like telling algebra it’s lame or light bulbs that they’re generally bright. They know these things.