I just looked at the “most active” users on my site tracker whatever it’s called and saw that within the last 30 days, some person from Venice Beach has visited my blog 216 times. Yo, that’s 7 times a day.

Because I am almost as creepy as this person, I look at their history and see they spent up to 30 minutes on my blog archive, exclusively clicking posts that show pictures of my face which are, objectively, the worst part of this blog. Now, have I done this to a person’s blog before? Absolutely, once, yes, but that is neither here nor there, because I am a hypocrite. It’s not my goddamned fault that I stumbled across the blog of a male model when I was drunk and single.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, person in Venice Beach. I bet you’re reading this right now. And will be 6 other times before the sun sets once again. I also saw that you have googled my full name, so please don’t use any of the information you find to murder me, because I’ve got some livin’ to do yet. If you do plan on murdering me, please refrain from raping my living body. I could not give a shit what you do with my corpse. Actually, you know, no: rape my corpse. I will definitely make the paper if you rape my corpse. “LOCAL BLOGGER MURDERED & RAPED IN THAT ORDER BY INTERNET PERSON” subtitle: “ALL PARENTS EVERYWHERE RIGHT ABOUT INTERNET PEOPLE.”

Venice Beach is the worst, btw. :(