E. Boli

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

I'm feeling super blarty and anxious because I am getting on a plane on Friday and it's all becoming a little bit real, whereas before it was just a silly flight I booked on a whim to visit fictional characters from my past brain. Plus I convinced myself I had diabetes yesterday because I could not. stop. peeing. Like every ten minutes I was having to pee. Then I got a fever, I think? Like I was hot but chilly at the same time? I waited and waited and WAITED for it to be bedtime for the girl I nanny, got her all snuggled in, and then I fell asleep on her bedroom floor. Today? I can't stop drinking water. I'm thirsty all the time. I had to ask an employee at the mall where the NEAREST DRINKING FOUNTAIN IS.

Literally do not email me if these symptoms are anything.

I also can't stop chewing ice, which I know is probably my anemia because I am suddenly terrified of preparing animal proteins because I told myself that I'm OVERDUE for FOOD POISONING? Like I said "YOU KNOW WHAT HASN'T RUINED MY LIFE LATELY? FOOD POISONING." And now I am waiting patiently for the E Coli and/or Ebola to kick in.

E BOLI.