I only logged in to see the family I used to work for.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014


I’m sorry.

I don’t want to come to your party unless you call me or text me about it. I can’t financially or emotionally afford to come see your band play and I sure as hell can’t afford to see “stand up comedy” that comes with a two drink minimum and a twenty dollar door fee. Put it online and I’ll watch it there. For free. On my time, when I don’t have to put on eyeliner or pretend to laugh really hard at your set to balance out the awkward silence in the room.

I only joined Petville that one time six years ago because I was drunk and my boss told me to. I apologize if you thought I was serious about it six years ago. I don’t care for a purple bale of hay and I don’t care to trade virtual land with you. C’mon now. We’re adults. Let’s save playtime for the bar, the bedroom and when there’s actual children in the vicinity.

I don’t wanna be a zombie or a vampire or a mafia dude in real life and certainly not on the Internet.
I know it’s not just about me. I know that you’re probably telling all your friends that you and your buddies are doing some one act plays at the community theater and you’d really love it if we could be there. I don’t think that I’m the only one getting these things, so don’t think it’s like that.

I just feel like you should know: I am ignoring you.