My biggest regret about becoming slightly less private with my online things is that now I can’t make fun of the Facebook Going Ons of my former high school peers with the freedom I was allowed before.

So just picture a woman taking her own picture at arm’s length, pierced tongue out, middle finger flying high in the air, the word (Priceless) in parenthesis following her real moniker, with the phrase “works at: being a mommy” under employment.