Ok, this queue time keeps changing and the phone number is so backlogged that it actually hangs up on me, so chances are I’m screwed over in this healthcare experience for the rest of my life. I should probably drop out of America now because I don’t even deserve Medicare.

BUT, but I am 27. I have youth on my side. My teeth are like, almost perfectly straight. I’m not pregnant. My hair is occasionally fucking awesome. I have two lungs and all of those other bits that are necessary for everything. Over the past two months I have lost a lot of my social awkwardness and I don’t even know how. I LAUGH A LOT. I can make a person laugh! I can make a person really happy! I will sometimes eat a salad instead of pizza. I have a good amount of SELF CONTROL when it comes to illegal drugs. I haven't needed a doctor visit except for that one time I fell while drunk and bruised my foot bone. I never get sick because I am above it.

So, like, it’s all a big “whatever!”, isn’t it? And that’s how it should be?

I’ve been up since 3 AM and I feel really, really good about myself right now.

I will be dead in 100 years and this will not matter.