I’ve had the hiccups for about 20 minutes, so I did the thing where you bend over and drink a glass of water? I had about two sips and then water leaked out my nose.

I don’t know if I did it wrong or if that’s normal, but my hiccups are gone.

Once I made someone laugh so hard she snarfed a crouton from her salad up into her nose, and then the following week I made someone else laugh so hard she peed on the chair of an arcade game.

My shining moment, no lie. I peaked in 7th grade. I don’t think I’ve ever made someone laugh before or since.