I suppose I should mention that on my third try, I was able to successfully make French macarons last week!

I've been researching the best recipes for these smug ass cookies and, by the advice of a sweet Instagram follower, was told to check out some YouTube videos. The problem with making these dumbasses is that you have to learn by doing -- no amount of studying technique will help you when it comes to whipping the egg whites to the correct stiffness or folding the precise amount of times in order to get the glib consistency that they require. My final product here wasn't even perfect, but it was pretty spot-on. I could have folded the batter a few more times and spread the cookies out slightly more. But I still did it and they still tasted amazing, with bourbon vanilla filling.

Keep in mind that varying oven temperatures, as well as humidity levels can impact the outcome of these tremendously. It's absurd how finicky these treats are. This is the recipe that worked for me, that may or may not work for you. If you are interested in giving these a try, just know that it takes several tries.

Ingredients (macaron shells only):
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 3/4 cup almond flour
  • 2 large egg whites
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • (optional) food coloring
Sift your powdered sugar into a medium bowl, and then sift your almond flour into the same bowl. Do not skip this step. Throw out any large almond chunks that can't pass through the sieve. Mix the two together and set aside.

Using a hand mixer on medium-low speed (3), beat egg whites until foamy, about four minutes. Slowly add one tablespoon of granulated sugar. Increase beating speed to medium (5) for another minute. Add another tablespoon of sugar, and increase speed to high (7) for another minute. Add the last half tablespoon and beat until stiff peaks form. Remember that it's better to over-beat the egg whites than under-beat... so if you're not sure, keep going a little longer. When you're getting close to the end, add food coloring of your choice.

Once your peaks are stiff, gently fold in about half of your powdered sugar/almond flour mixture. Fold about 10 strokes, and then add the remaining half. Keep folding and blending together until the batter drips from your spatula very, VERY slowly. This is the part that requires practice, and recognizing when it's incorporated enough. There shouldn't be any lumps or chunks, but shouldn't be runny. Under-mixing will result in lumpy, hollow shells. Over-mixing will result in flat, crunchy shells.

Transfer the mixture to a piping bag (ziplock is fine), and pipe 1.5" rounds onto a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. If there are peaks, you can smooth them down with a damp finger tip. Let sit out for at least 15 minutes, until the outsides are dried completely. At this point, heat your oven to 300 degrees. Let them bake on the top rack for about 6 minutes; remove and rotate cookie sheet and continue baking for another 4-6 minutes. Don't let them brown at all. They shouldn't stick to the parchment when you take them out.

Fill them. Sandwich them together. Eat them while laying in bed and crying.

Literally do not email me to bitch about this recipe not working for you. Go on YouTube and figure it out for your damn selves.