Do you guys ever get so suspicious when your life is going well? Is this the point I've wanted to attain my whole life and now I'm just a happy person? Can I maintain this wonderful level of satisfaction forever? Am I going to die tomorrow?

Everything has fallen into place for me (except for the fact that I have a sore throat right now, but whatever. Maybe I can go camping with my friends and then when they get lost I’ll kill myself and then they will eat for months off of my carcass and, haha, this started sentence started out as a joke but now I’m way more depressed about it than I was 45 seconds ago), and that makes me very, very nervous that I’m going to get into a car accident or will soon be diagnosed with breast cancer or kidnapped and forced to rip apart cotton balls for 16 hours a day.

Oh my god, I would rather take the cancer. Don’t make me rip apart cotton balls.