I don't care for New Years. There is far too much pressure on everyone to have fun, and very rarely are people having anything that could be construed as fun. The past several years I went to bed. Didn't even acknowledge what day it was. 8 PM? Mama's in bed.

I feel different this time around, because this year had more change in store for me than I was ready for. More than I knew how to process. Unexpected and unforgiving life changes that pushed me into a brand new direction. It was The Year of Ups and Downs for me.

Here are 13 things I learned while Upping and Downing in 2k13:

1. When enough is enough.

2. I am allowed to come first.

3. Money is not a reason or excuse.

4. Things happen for a reason, but they also happen for no reason.

5. How to trust my heart over my head.

6. It's okay to break someone's heart for the sake of your own.

7. Happiness may come at a high cost, but is worth it.

8. It's okay to lose control, get lost, and cry for a week straight.

9. I am an imperfect, failure of a creature... but still worthy of love.

10. How to truly fall in love with every aspect of somebody.

11. It absolutely doesn't matter what people think or say about you.

12. Not having a plan is a huge blessing.

13. How to instantly let go of the things and people who don't make my life better.

Thanks for giving me an audience for my outlet, for sending me pictures of dogs, for sending my anonymous messages about what some of my words meant to you. I think you guys are the best (except for those of you who are the worst). I wish I shared more of the positive messages I receive, but it all feels like I’m bragging so I don’t. Because it really does make me happy when people express that something silly I wrote made them feel less alone, or made them realize for the first time that it’s okay to be however you are.

I know anyone with a blog has the ability to get similar messages, and they do. I know it’s nothing special, but you guys kind of make it feel like something special. I hope we will all live forever in a world where I am your queen and you compliment my bangs every day.

Thanks for the lessons and life improvements, 2013. Now please go suck a dick.