Despite fighting off some stupid virus that is desperately trying to dominate me (and sorely losing), I had a realization today that I'm in such a good spot for the time being. Granted, now I mentioned it and everything will come crashing down, but I felt happy.

I have been so stressed the last couple of months that I need to come up with a new word for "stressed."

First of all, I love my job. Love it with all my heart and soul. Look forward to it everyday. Am glad when it's time to go home, but at least I don't wake up with dread and anxiety like I have for most of my other jobs. However, for the last six weeks or so, a Big Huge Scary Change has been looming due to my employer's line of work. It was a change that would have either A) required me to move to Vancouver for six months, beginning in January, or B) quit my job and find another.

I'd had so many discussions about this move and what it would mean. They varied to every degree -- What an incredible opportunity! This doesn't happen everyday! Vancouver is practically Seattle! I've never been to Vancouver! I never thought I would live there! Would Brad come with me? Would we get a place together? Would we just fly back and forth every weekend? Is six months really that long? Six months is way too long. I'll get another job. I'll have to say goodbye to this sweet baby angel and her mother who treat me so well. I'll have to go through the trauma of leaving another family. I can't leave Southern California again. I am licensed to teach children in the state of California (and parts of Nevada and Oregon). I'll just teach. I hate my life.


Anyway, the decision was killing me but I found out today that it fell through for the time being; there is a chance that the project may need to be picked back up in June, but not before then. And in the meantime, I've been offered more hours per week while her projects pick up in the LA area until then. BONUS!

I can exhale. I wanted to get that out there. I am exhaling for the rest of the year. Don't fuck this up for me, Universe. Shut the hell up and let me convert that oxygen to CO2 for the next two weeks. I got my family, my job, my boyfriend, my dog, my California, and my bed.

You can give me a cold, but that's it.