Apparently my body needed more to run on than espresso and paleo (lol?!) pumpkin bread. I went to bed at 5 PM yesterday, woke up at 1 AM, played Candy Crush til 2 AM, and slept til 7:30 this morning. I don't consider myself a mathematician (YES I DO) but that's 13.5 hours of sleep. I woke up this morning feeling GREAT. Still grabbed an espresso but shut up you don't know me.

I'm panicking about my big Christmas present for Brad because it hasn't been delivered yet. So I emailed customer service and included a comparison of my distress and anguish over not receiving this package to the pain probably felt by Anne Frank and Jon Benet Ramsey. All the sad girls in the world. I got a response saying that they would expedite shipping for free to make sure I get it before Christmas. But then I was like, so wait, you haven't shipped it yet?

I'm sorry, what the fuck was 9/11 for?