I can eat Sriracha-soaked quinoa in front of anyone, but I can only enjoy Sriracha-soaked quinoa alone in the privacy of my bedroom away from other people, all on account of enjoying extra Sriracha.

Pick up a spoonful, place in mouth, chew one to two times, freeze face as the burning starts, face crumples in on itself as burning continues, press both hands against face as if it suppress pain, wonder how I can not only feel burning in my nose, but my ears as well, finish chewing, swallow, gulp of almond milk, repeat 5 more times.