I already know today is going to be one of the worst days.

I've already wanted to kill myself because I spilled coffee on my lap and effectively ended up with a case of Coffee Crotch, which is a fake ailment I just made up for when you spill coffee on your lap and instead of immediately jumping up, you sit there and contemplate suicide because you have coffee on your crotch and nothing will ever be okay again.

Then I wanted to kill myself again because I don't know how I am going to float my way through the next few days without money.

Then I wanted to kill myself again because that gnawing feeling is coming back to remind me that I am a mostly worthless human being with nothing to offer and who doesn't even deserve the things I work for and want to accomplish because it will never happen anyway.