She just left to have foot surgery. I should be nicer than this.

Friday, September 27, 2013

(My mother shakes my doorknob)

Mom:
Karin?

Me: YEAH?

Mom:
Are you painting your nails?

Me:
Yeah.

Mom:
Can I see? (she has not stopped jiggling my doorknob, as if she is under the impression that doing so is the new key. Like society had done away with keys, and now all we need to do is just shake the everliving fuck out of our locked doors to open them)

Me:
Well.... It's just the second coat. It doesn't look any different.

Mom:
Let me see. (shake shake shake)

Me:
Well... I took off my pants because I didn't want to get them dirty.

Mom:
(the shaking immediately ceases) ...You're not wearing PANTS?

Me:
I just TOLD you I wasn't wearing pants! Mom! MOM! WHY DO YOU DO THAT? WHY DO YOU JUST REPEAT THINGS I SAY IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION? MOM, NOTHING CHANGES IF YOU SAY IT. IT'S STILL THE SAME AS WHEN I SAY IT.