Yesterday I was taken to a French cafe where I was fed massive amounts of goat cheese and basil quiche, spring mix salad, and macarons. Macarons until I couldn't even breathe.

Afterwards, my companion took me for ice cream. He took me for ice cream after quiche and macarons.

And then sat in a park with me.

And then watched Breaking Bad with me.

And then gave me several glasses of wine.

And then didn't make fun of me for wanting to go to bed at 11. And snuggled me to sleep.

Yet for some reason I've been feeling super down lately, Internet. And it's so stupid. I had two crying spells this weekend over stupid things (the first being "I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING SAD" and the second being "I STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB EVEN THOUGH I LIVE WITH MY MOM AND DAD AND HAVE NO EXPENSES BUT I STILL LIKE TO COMPLAIN") and it dragged me way, way down. I'm getting frustrated with the job search. I was feeling cocky and thought I'd have one by now, and I don't. Because I'm being picky. But I don't think I need to settle, Internet. You know where settling gets you? It gets you to that place where everything is mediocre and beige and people are boring and nothing is satisfying. I don’t want that. I won't be happy with that silver medal.

TBH, I'm super happy. I am. I'm happy everyday. But I don’t want to be happy.

I want to be ecstatic every goddamned day! I don’t want second place! I want to get gold, motherfuckers!!!