babies?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Hey, is the worst feeling in the world the feeling right before you’re about to have your Achilles tendon sliced, rending your feet useless and unable to walk as blood spurts out the back of your ankles, or is it looking at pictures of happy, pregnant women and feeling a weird twinge of this weird mixture of happiness and jealousy and panic and wondering if you should forego all ideas of a career and just start having babies instead because of the very logical reason of “because babies"?

Because the second emotion feels pretty gross, you guys. Maybe I’m ovulating? I think I’ve written a chart of my general emotions and my menstrual cycle, and “wanting babies" is an emotion very specific day 7 post-menstruation.

I had another phone interview for another job last night. I have an in-person interview this Sunday evening. It seems like it might be a good fit, save for a few illegal things it involves me doing (not filing taxes and being paid under the table -- do not arrest me, police / IRS). I dunno. Feeling weird and uneasy and hungry.

Babies are the worst though because they can't talk but they're also the best because they smell nice and you can speak jibberish and sing at them and additionally, I think I’m stuck in a shame spiral and would like to blame the sliders I had yesterday but I’m sure it goes much deeper, all right.