(Socially Awkward Penguin)

A cool girl emailed me this link because she said it reminded her of me. Naturally, I was judgmental and defensive because I think the body of text I release into the Internet Wild isn’t obviously hyperbolic enough. People think I’m more awkward than I really am. I don’t know if most of them realize that my anxiety and awkwardness is located mostly in my own imagination, that I write about an alternate reality — the one that I’m experiencing, not the one that is actually happening. My own friend once told me I could never be a teacher because “you realize that teachers have to, like, talk to people, right? Isn’t that one of your ‘things’ you can’t do?” I can do it, and I do do it, it just takes a mountain of inner energy to act like I feel okay doing it. I would like to believe that I come across much more put together than the constant Level 10 Panic I feel on the inside. Maybe I should stop putting out this air of anxiety personified because I don’t think it accurately represents who I would like to be seen as.

Then after reading every Socially Awkward Penguin listed: Well, never mind, I’m guilty of most of these things.

My anxiety has anxieties.