professional woman

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I just had a phone interview for a job I have lukewarm feelings for and that probably won't pay the bills as exuberantly as I'm used to, but I chose to waste everyone's time and agreed to meet in person tomorrow at a Starbucks in Agoura Hills (please don't murder me, murderers) to verify to the person in charge that I am, indeed, a real person and not just an Internet murderer.

Sometimes I am so good at job interviews, though, that I just wish my entire day was a series of job interviews. Just me sitting and shaking hands and nodding in agreement and agreeing with bosses about how personality and confidence, yes, gets you through so many doors while looking them straight in the eye (confidence!) with a smile (personality!) and laughing at their dumb jokes and making equally dumb jokes back because dumb jokes are so easy! It’s so easy to make people laugh when they want to be impressed!

I AM SO GOOD AT JOB INTERVIEWS.

(IF I DON’T GET OFFERED THIS JOB I WILL KILL MYSELF.)