Liveblogging my PMS

Saturday, June 22, 2013

I’ve decided I’m going to keep a running list of reasons and/or places I have cried. Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s fine. Crying is just how I am learning to deal with everything. It doesn’t mean I’m a psycho, it just means I’m super in touch with myself and my emotions. Oprah would love me.

I’m doing this because I have an acute sense as to what is hilarious and ridiculous. Plus I’m turning this blog into a dating profile and I’m pretty sure I read in Cosmo that nothing gets men going like telling them how you cry everyday even when you’re not sad. Especially when you’re not sad.

June 22, 2013, approximately 9:30 AM: I watch this first person video of the recent tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. It is horrifying. There are screaming winds, screaming children, praying mothers and teenage boys telling each other that they love everyone.

A hint of tear glistens in one eye. I begin to wonder what I would do if I was stuck in a convenience store during a tornado. What if I was with a child? Like Avery? What would I do?

The tears begins to fall. Small, slowly. I would tell them (the child[ren]) that nothing would hurt them. I would protect them! I know I wouldn’t let anything happen to them. I’d sacrifice myself completely for their safety. I love children so much that I wouldn’t even let Mother Nature touch a hair on their goofy heads. The window panes would be shattering all around us, we would lift up in the air just a tad and then it would pass. I would have a broken leg and heroically lead my children off in search of the rest of our family, somewhere out west. Somewhere out yonder. The horizon looks like it goes on forever, and the sun is beating hot on our backs.

June 22, 2013, approximately 9:32 AM: I am now silently sobbing over a hundred mile trek I completely made up.

June 22, 2013, approximately 9:34 PM: I am now laughing at a YouTube video about a fat squirrel.