i just wanted to let you know

Monday, June 3, 2013

Just like I knew would happen, I've hit a wall in terms of NEEDING SOMETHING TO DO ALL DAY besides laying by the pool and hanging out with that dude I hang out with sort of exclusively after he gets off work.

We were joking this weekend about how he wants to get a part time job at Walmart for extra money and extra LOLs and I’ve officially decided to start applying for jobs meant for college students, elderly people, and people trying to finish up their GED online because they got kicked out of high school and spent a few years gang banging or hanging out on their girlfriend’s mom’s couch and now they’re trying to straighten out.

The reason for that is this: Just in case.

It’s occurred to me that things are still bad in terms of looking for work (I have some now, for the record but like, *n0thing g0ld c@n $t@y*), and if I am eventually going to be fighting former CAA assistants and LA Times reporters for gigs at Coffee Bean, I better get the hell in early. I feel like I’m giving you people a post-recession pro-tip right now. Get your ass to down to Starbucks and get ready to go to a ten day training seminar in Long Beach to learn about different kinds of beans NOW. I’m talking to you.

But yeah, so anyway… I was thinking about it and I’ve come to the conclusion that this would eventually be both a necessary and hilarious step for me to take. I definitely need the cash, but I also need something I can laugh about in my head all the time. If I worked at Jamba Juice, I think that would be the funniest thing that ever happened to me. It would be terrible, but probably not really because mostly I’d be like “I work with teenagers and I make juice. Damn. My life needs a free boost.” and then I’d LOL so hard secretly while I made someone a 16 oz. Strawberry Surfrider.

I just wanted to tell you guys that.