the beginnings of dementia

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

In my head, when I die, I will be presented with a chart by some holy being. The chart will probs be a pie chart (I don’t know how my Heaven works yet, to be honest) and it will illustrate the amount of time I spent doing different activities to show me how productively I used my life.

I’m mentioning this because I realized how large the “talking to myself” part of the pie is, and I feel like I should be held publicly responsible for my odd behavior.

I talk to myself too much. Being in California and around my friends/family more has only made this more apparent and less-acceptable-feeling.

This must have started when I moved to Nashville. I mean, I have like... three friends. Total. But I still spend 95% of my free time alone. I have honest-to-God turned into a crazy person since living here, in a lot of ways, but the most apparent one is the talking to myself situation.

Sometimes I wonder if I can make it to the end of the driveway without whispering something to myself. I tried two days ago. I tried to make it all the way to Nolensville without saying a word to myself. I forgot what I was trying to do before I got to the corner and said, “I miss Diary on MTV.”