What does it mean when my body wants me to fall asleep as soon as I get home from work (shortly after 6:00 PM) and then wants to stay asleep 10 minutes past my alarm in the morning (5:40 AM) and I am still tired when I finally force myself to shut my alarm off?

No joke. My alarm goes off for ten minutes. I keep my phone under my pillow so that it is unbearable. And I sleep with that noise in my ear for ten minutes.

I’ve been living like a homeless person that doesn’t need to be homeless. Like a Vietnam Vet who got their big pay out recently but is still choosing to live on the streets because that’s all they know anymore? You know those dudes? I’m like that now. Also, my brain feels like it has only after long binges of drinking and drug experimentation, except I’ve only had alcohol once in the past month and done zero drugs except for an Ativan the other day because I was nervous and hearing things in my house.

Basically, if you see me directing traffic nude at the corner of Nolensville and Thompson next week, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just throw a blanket on me and let me sleep for a little bit longer.