The year is 2001. I'm zitty, greasy, dressed like a boy, and obsessed with this guy named Sam. He's Jewish and plays bass in a ska/punk band in the valley. We've met twice -- once at my friend's 14th birthday party, and the other at his band's show at the Cobalt. I spend 20 hours a day thinking about his muscles and frosted tips, and the other 4 planning our wedding. We chat on AIM sometimes. I usually lead the conversation, because I'm zitty, greasy, and dressed like a boy. I'm hanging out with my friends. We're drunk on Coca Cola and pizza. I login to AIM at their house and open the chat window. "I love you so much" -- ha, ha! Wouldn't that be so funny if I--

Oh shit.

(You've all been there.)

Antonio literally ignored all of these messages for 5 minutes, after reading them. Yeah! Cos Facebook thought that would be a good idea! Let them know when you've read it and are choosing to ignore them! Sure!

Well! Cool story time! Adventures in low self-esteem and dating disasters! Have a good weekend!