I spent way too long trying to come up with different reasons why it would be totally okay for me to own shoes like this:

    1.    I’m fly
    2.    I’m a boss
    3.    I don’t really give a crap about “trends” or “looking cute”
    4.    If some bitch or rude boy (the bad kind) judges me because of my shoes, they don’t understand how I live my life and what matters to me and therefore they’re not even real to me.
    5.    They can maybe be “secret shoes” that I wear when I’m in places where no one knows me.

Ultimately I’ve decided that from now on I can only buy ugly stuff in person because if it’s ugly in the picture online it’s straight gnarly IRL and not even Miss. Doin’ Me over here can handle gnarly. Most of the time.