Damn.

So I hung out with my little bro* Dave and his coworkers last night and it was MAD REFRESHING. He caught a few of us going on about how awesome it must be to be 23 right now, chilling at a bar and laughing and being rad for days. Dave and I are both 26, by the way. It’s not a significant difference when you consider the fact that life is really, really long most of the time (R.I.P. River Phoenix), but maaaaaan! The last three years of my life have felt like one of those crazy roller coasters that someone eventually dies on. I didn’t quite know how to explain why I felt like such a haggard labrador in that moment, and then Dave said, “They’re worry-free!”

WELL, FOLKS! That hit me like my married boyfriend who I go to visit in Tampa every three weeks. WORRY-FREE. Yeah! That was exactly what they were (and that I wasn’t) in that moment. I am positive that all the 23 year olds worry about things like we all do, but when they’re at the bar they know how to kick it big. Just like I did before life rested that ten pound bronzed porcupine on my ballsack. I used to have all the fun I ever needed with my friends just by doing us to the fullest, no matter where we were. What happened to me?

While they were doing fun dances and cracking each other up, I was, at first secretly and then out loud, thinking about emails. Emails! At a party! Sure, it was a Sunday night and so it’s not completely out of line, but I was in the presence of great life-long friends and some inspirational humans who were making some of the best boner jokes I’ve heard in the better half of a year.

So, you guys. This New Years Resolution: Be more worry-free.

P.S. ONE LOVE

P.P.S. Haha, remember when people used to say that? I know we talked about this before, but isn’t that such strange thing to say? “One love.” Yeah man, I guess.

*He’s not actually my brother, bananacakes! I just call him that because one day I asked him if he would be while I was driving his drunk self home and looking for hamburgers. I felt it would be a wise spiritual investment, which it has been so far. Duh!

P.P.P.S. Today is my sister's 30th birthday. THIRTY. When did I get old enough to have a 30 year old sister? I remember her 13th birthday. I was so sad cos I thought she was so old and mature and hated me for being dumb and 9. My dad drove us up to Palmdale, where it was snowing, so we could have a snowball fight on Christmas Eve. My hands were so cold that they started burning in the car on the way home. Then we ate a ton of cake at 9 AM. Trip on that for a minute. Life is precious.