An update on my crock pot dinner as requested last night from 8 million people

Thursday, November 29, 2012

(8 million = more than 4):

My house did not burn down, and dinner was good.

Look, I'm not here to be called an idiot. I went to college. I'm pretty self-aware most of the time and would even consider myself pretty reasonable. I understand that leaving an electrical appliance whose main purpose is being hot for several consecutive hours unattended in my house for 13 hours is essentially a stupid idea. Two people have angrily emailed me about this. Over a crock pot! Something that is designed to be left alone and cook your food! Nothing even that egregious! What, did you guys all major in House Wifery at Jerk University together or something?

And just so you guys know, this wasn't like, my first time using a crock pot. Are you kidding me? I don't cook. Crock pots are literally my life saver because without them, I would probably never eat when I'm home alone (which is honestly about 90% of the time). I just had never left one running for thirteen hours before. Because most recipes only require 6-10 hours of cooking time. I work long hours. I also have a flare for hyperbole. I know my house won't burn down, even if I left a ton of gas-soaked papers and towels right next to it. Wanna know why I know that? Because I've been living my life as a genius since I came out of my mother's vagina, and anyone who questions this needs to change therapists and go to the gym more or something.

Call me when you get on my level.