Is this my wake-up call? Is the universe telling me that my ovaries are drying up? Am I too old to be making a cupcake bra? It's more like a cupcake tank top, you guys. I'm not into bare midriffs. It's a tank top. With cupcakes for breasts. Glittery ones.

Is this acceptable behavior for a childless, career-less 26 year old college graduate living in sin with her boyfriend? RIGHT IN FRONT OF GOD'S FACE?

Somebody email me. Swear to God. I better get at least 8 emails telling me to grow up.