I am currently writing an article for a popular girl-based entertainment website about why I love Honey Boo Boo and how she is the voice of every woman.

I haven't felt this much pressure over my writing in at least five years (I wrote a 36-page research paper about the psychological influence linking child abuse and adulthood non-heterosexuality my junior year of college. The day after that, I wrote a 5-page paper about why I think the Renaissance was a political gimmick. The week after that, I wrote a 2-page paper explaining why I didn't show up for the final, and it was because I didn't go to class for three weeks leading up to it and, thus, was unaware that the date of its administration had been moved up because I had "better things to do" which was code for "sleeping in and watching Maury." I got A's on all of these papers. I also got an A on the final that I missed and had to make up in some faculty member's after-hours office while my professor was on a flight to France for the Summer. To this day, I think the reason I got an A was because my 2-page paper was so ace. I doubt he even graded the final.)

So, I'll let you guys know if I regress into wearing pajamas and eating cereal out of mixing bowls in my bedroom while crying.