My boss asked if I was good at social media and I can’t remember what my actual response was verbatim, but I do know that I had to restrain from telling him of my moderate social media success (which is a fancy way of saying that sometimes people read my blogs about periods and like my pictures on Instagram) and instead said something along the lines of, “I go H.A.M. on dat social media.”

He is currently developing a medical iPad app to help patients connect with their physicians and pharmacies more easily, and asked me to design the app interface for him to present at one of the meetings. So I spent a few hours working on it and sent him a 5-page PDF with sample layouts, colors, fonts... just like I used to do when I was optimistic about having a career and a will to live!

It felt really incredible to remember how good I am at design. I'm always petrified that I'll spend a few hours on something and that person will think it's nasty. That hasn't happened yet (except for that one time I had a guy tell me he wanted me to design a logo for his company, "Marketing Goo," with a gooey looking font that didn't look cartoonish. Something that definitely exists in the world, I think we can agree that his request wasn't at all contradictory or absolutely fucking retarded.)

And something even more incredible happened after that.

I got paid for my design.

Yeah. I wasn't just told I'd be paid for my ideas and designs, but that person actually went through with paying me.

You're probably like, "well... yeah?" And, yeah. Do you want to know the last time I was PAID for my design? I couldn't even tell you. I am consistently cheated out of being paid for things that I work really hard on. And I'm too non-confrontational to take it further because I always chalk it up to, "well, one more thing on my resume!"

NO MORE OF THAT!

SO GOOD AT JOBS!

SO GOOD AT SOCIAL MEDIA!

SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO!

MAKE SHIT HAPPEN 2K12!

I'M GOING TO THE MALL!