Excerpt from a bird funeral

Thursday, September 6, 2012

After picking the boys up from school today, I decided to do the dishes while they burned off some energy out back. Hardin had been calling up to me to come see what he found outside, but I was insistent that I'd see when I was done cleaning dried ketchup off of his Spiderman plate and rinsing solidified chocolate milk out of a dozen sippy cups.

Wesley came upstairs to say that I really needed to see what Hardin was holding, because it was a bird.


I taught Hardin how to pick up gross things with an old grocery bag, and when I told him I was putting it in the dumpster, he requested we have a bird funeral.

So, the four of us went into the front yard and had a funeral in front of the dumpster, after I explained that we couldn't bury the bird because that was the garbage man's job. He picks up dead animals and buries them in his animal cemetery. Because that isn't a horrifying image at all.

Me: Okay. Let's all go around and say something nice about the bird. I'll go first. Bird, you were a great bird. You were very beautiful. I don't know why you died but I'm sure you lived a really long life.

Wesley: Bird, you are very pretty and I'm going to kiss you.

Hardin: I am sorry you died, bird, but I'm glad that you lived a life. I know that when you were a baby you had to learn how to fly, and now died because you are old. I'll miss you.

Me (to Avery): Say "bye, bird!"

Avery (disinterested and tugging at her dress): Bye, bird.

And into the dumpster Ye Olde Bird went.

Bye, Bird.