26 & shit

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Just realized how soon my birthday is. 12 days away! 12 days!

For my 26th birthday, I am not going to throw myself a birthday party. Instead, I am going to throw myself a congratulatory party for making it to 26 without having the shittiest attitude in the world because I am making a point to never have a shitty attitude about being closer to 30 because that shit is annoying. You see how many times I used the word “shit”? It’s because it’s shitty that everyone is perpetuating this perceived awfulness of 30. Yeah, I get it. We’re all like way closer to 30 than not, and subsequently status updates are reserved for self-esteem issues masked by half-assed jokes that will make people think you’re just “funny” when really you’re just scared.

Look, getting old is scary. You don’t think I’m scared? I’m totally scared! But I refuse to subscribe to this nonsense that my life is quickly ending & prolong a bunch of socially-instigated youth worshiping bullshit.

Let’s just save all the “I’m totally dying alone!”s for when we need it: tweeting from our death beds, totally dying alone.