Thursday, April 12, 2012

My oral surgery went, presumably, well.

I had a lot of anxiety built up, and I do not handle anxiety well. Which is the funniest joke because I'm manically anxious most of the time.

The night before, I was instructed to take a Valium and get a good night's rest. In the morning, I took some type of pain pill, as well as Triazalam, which basically is the coolest sleeping pill ever. Before we left the house I started getting woozy and said great things to Darien like "Don't look at me, let me talk," and "my tears are hot, what is this a sign of?" I remember driving there and every time I'd turn my head it felt like the world would spin past my eyes... which is probably the best metaphor for my life.

As soon as I got there, they sat me down on the chair where I promptly notified Dani that I had to pee. Dani is my friend and also my dental assistant. Dani wheelchaired me to the bathroom where I somehow managed to pee all by myself. I told her how proud of myself I was for being able to pee as a 25 year old woman, and that she better not watch me because I'll sue.

I got my Nitrus mask put on and dosed in and out of sleep. I woke up a few times during the procedure, but not for very long. Then Dani woke me up to let me know Darien was there and I could go home. That was the point of the day where I demanded frozen yogurt and fell asleep in the car on the way over to Menchie's, where I got TWO CUPS of some type of coffee/chocolate/peanut butter thingy thing.

I remember the girl at Menchie's telling us to go across the street to look at the antiques and I was like, why is this girl talking to me about antiques? Doesn't she know my whole house is furnished with them? Why is she interrupting my internal monologue that I am having RE: chocolate peanut butter coffee? I vaguely remember walking across the street anyway and being super annoyed that the place was closed, or closed for an hour, or something like that.

When we got home (magically, somehow, however we got there), I sat on the couch, ate some soup and breadsticks, and treated myself to a THREE HOUR NAP that felt like about 10 minutes. Darien stayed with me on the couch and watched Sex and the City because, BTW, this is what I decided we were gonna watch that day. The day I was completely unconscious and experienced none of it. I put myself in charge of the DVDs AND I picked Menchies. Because EVERYONE DOES WHAT I WANT OR SOMEBODY’S GETTING A KNIFE TO THE EYE.

Delete my phone number.

My mouth is still a little sore, but overall I'm okay. I have to wait until July to get my permanent tooth put in, and I hope it's gold.