So, okay.

Monday, April 9, 2012

I've lightly grazed this in the past couple of weeks, but I'm having oral surgery tomorrow.

No, I'm not getting my wisdom teeth out.

I'm getting one of my bottom molars pulled and having an implant put in.

A fake tooth.

I'm getting a fake tooth tomorrow.

I've never had any type of surgery or major procedure done in my life. I've been super stressed out about it because I'm probably going to die. Because that WOULD happen to me. I would die.

The cool part is I get to pick up a prescription for Valium, Triazolam, and some other bitchin anti-anxiety med that I can't think of right now. I'm going to be so high tomorrow. SO HIGH.

Also I'll have a temporary fake tooth for three months that I can, apparently, take out whenever I want. That's kinda fun. Maybe I'll get drunk and take my fake tooth out and show people. I bet it'll feel like when we used to lose our teeth as kids and we'd just have a big slimy hole in our mouths. I can't wait for that.

I hope the tooth fairy brings me $7,000 for this tooth since that's how much money I am spending on fixing it.

I live the greatest life in existence.

Seven thousand dollars.

Have I mentioned I have a donate button to the right? --->