woman thoughts

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I was talking with my friend last night about a situation in which she felt she had felt incredibly disrespected and lied to by some of her closest and dearest friends. It's happened to all of us -- we feel lied to, cheated, hurt, and confused because of some careless actions in our intimate relationships. But why do these situations happen?

I went through a similar event several years ago, and it made me reassess why some women in our lives act selfishly. Insecurity, jealousy, and men is what it seems to boil down to. Sometimes I want to scream because I can feel another woman judging me, or holding some invisible superiority she thinks she has above me. I guess the main thing I have going for me in that department is that I try not to do that to other people. I try not to treat other women like they are less than me, even when there’s not a question in my mind that they are no closer to figuring life out than I am, and that maybe I’m a stride or two ahead of them.

I’ve had a couple things happen in my life where I felt like I wasn’t being paid the respect that I deserved by some women I know, and I thought long and hard about what it is that may have brought them to the conclusion that I am worth being treated this way. For each thing I came up with that could be a reason they hate me, I came up with several reasons why they probably hate themselves more. Think my career is a joke? Well, I think you are a hanger-on and a sycophant. You think I act immature? Well, at least I don’t define my intelligence by how seriously I take myself. You don’t like the way I talk? Well, I know for a fact that there’s some people who enjoy listening to me talk and reading my blog all day.  What real person has ever said that about them?

This obviously isn't strictly a woman thing. Some people just suck. I’d say the women I dislike the most are weighed out pretty evenly by the stack of dudes I can’t stand, either. But I’ll give you this: As a girl, it feels bad to disrespect / hate other girls.

There have been women in my life who have acted so entitled, so narcissistic, and so superior that they actually convinced me that I was wrong for feeling offended, hurt, betrayed, and deserving of an apology. I don’t have that wiring where I set out to sabotage other women. However, insecure women do. It sucks to feel like you’ve either been riled up enough by someone’s bad behavior to hate them, or that you even have it in you to be so jealous of how they act, look, think, etc. The only way I’ve been able to upsurge this behavior my whole life is to ignore these girls... or at least, just act dumb. Let them think they’re putting one over you. Let them think you’ve been defeated. Because who cares what they think?

After thinking about it last night, we kind of came to the conclusion that it’s hard to be upset with other people when you’ve got a whole bunch of great things going on, or when you’re (get ready for it) genuinely happy with yourself.

Basically: nix the Secretary Drama and upgrade your QOL.