After we devoured a veritable smorgasbord of breakfast sugar, Darien and I set out for our weekend getaway to Memphis.


We stopped at a Love's and spent over $50 on gummy bears, beef jerkey, diet coke, sunflower seeds, and... a Frosty. For me. Duh.


I found out that Darien is a closeted Adele fan as he belted some of her tunes to me. I watched in awe, being in the presence of such a great Adele impersonator.

We stopped in Jackson on our way to see some Johnny Cash bullshit that didn't exist. But I found this cool wall and decided to make awkward faces about it.


We stayed at the Hilton just outside of town. After settling in, we got into town to see the Lorraine Motel, a landmark I have always wanted to visit. Have I mentioned that I'm really big into civil rights? Because I am. It was pretty emotional. We didn't do the museum tour (the motel has been preserved for people to visit) because first of all it was $40, and second of all I mostly was just interested in seeing the balcony where Martin Luther King Jr. was shot. Memphis Landmark: success.


I didn't think I should smile? But I also didn't think I should frown? So I made this dumb face. Behold, the hotel balcony where Martin Luther King drew his last breath.

Afterwards we walked around Beale Street and had dinner at Rendezvous, one of the most famous BBQ places in the world. I just made that last part up, but it seems like everyone wants to hit that shit, so I, indeed, hit it.

Exhausted and food coma-ridden, we walked around downtown some more until finally retreating back to our hotel where I was up all night with a runny nose and sore throat. Of course!

Our Sunday activity was to visit Graceland, which I enjoyed quite a bit. Darien thinks I'm absolutely disgusting for saying this, but I think it would be totally cool if we could see Elvis's actual dead carcass on display somewhere. You get to see his grave in his backyard and the entire downstairs of his home, but like, $30? Really? For me to walk through a house that's actually probably the same size at my house? I wanna see that ass. That dead, rotting, melty flesh ass. I mean, is that weird? Really? They excavated him from his original resting place to put him in his backyard by the pool. So I know we can technologically do this. I'm sure I'm not alone.


Well, if you're still reading this, it was super duper fun. We got some official Elvis Presley ice cream cones. Toured his airplanes. Saw all of his cars. Um. America!

We also drive past the Mississippi state line so that we could say we went to two other states this weekend. Then, after Graceland, we crossed into Arkansas. So while it sounds like we went all over, we really drove about 40 miles.


See. Arkansas. Corrie and I didn't get a shot with any Arkansas signs on our drive in from California because they were doing highway construction. So yay. Arkansas.

After we went to Arkansas, we stopped by the Gibson factory and took a tour. Photos weren't allowed so unfortunately you'll just have to imagine me wearing safety goggles and staring at a lot of semi-hollow body guitars. I also played some of them. And Darien told me my chord progressions were unoriginal and that I use the same ones, so great, he's not allowed to ever come see me play ever.

After a quick stop at Love's for more beef jerkey and diet coke, we hit the road home, while I somberly listened to deep rap lyrics and thought about the meaning of life.