I am wearing this men’s XL t-shirt out of Darien's dirty hamper today because I’ve given up/I never really gave down.

Cleaned my room last night and painted my nails yesterday. Got the same feeling I do when I get all my laundry done. Jesus-like? Is that cool? Jesus + Devastatingly pimplish forehead = Me? This morning I retracted my room cleaning process by throwing clean clothes all over it.

Also wanna go on the record and say I've just been vomited on for the second time in a week.

This is going to probably be a conversation at the drug store later today:

“I’d like all your abortion pills.”
“Excuse me?”
“The abortion pill? Do you have it? I want all of this area to be akin to the Dead Sea, just a total elephant graveyard.”
“Heavens to Murgatroyd!”
“Don’t you think Casey Anthony kind of deserved some time off from that kid, though? Right? Babies, man. What a bummer.”