This is the first picture in a series of pictures of me sitting in my room at the Ritz-Carlton in Atlanta.

I once heard that how you spend your New Year's Eve is a glimpse at how your year will go. Whoever told me that ruined my life, because every New Years I have a pretty lame time... which I then compare to my pretty lame year in hindsight.

So I'm spending this New Year's Eve at the Ritz-ass-Carlton in Atlanta, in hopes that my year will be spent pretending I am a celebrity and dashing around foreign cities like I'm a Kardashian.

My New Years Motto for 2012 is “Shut the fuck up, 2011.” My Motto for 2011 was more about being hopeful about the upcoming year (“Take life by the motherfucking balls and make it drop on all fours and then just prosper from the situation.” It was a long motto.), and that kind of worked out. I did a lot of cool stuff in 2011. But not as much cool stuff as possible. So instead of being hopeful about the upcoming year, I’m just going to insult the past year.

While hanging out at the Ritz-ass-Carlton.