My old college roommate Denise once told me that there's a really big difference between being a Scrub and being a Dirty Foot.

Scrubs are broke, but they attempt to hustle in their own lame ass way. Dirty Foots just sit around having dirty ass feet.

My feet right now are MAD DIRTY. I even have a red jewel stuck to my foot from my place of employment, and a sesame seed from last night's sandwich. GA-ROSS. However, I don’t define myself by the state of my feet because I'm working on transcending my ego as we speak. You should, too. I mean, you can do whatever you want. I certainly wouldn’t recommend taking the advice of a woman walking around with seeds and jewels on her feet.

I will have you know, I do plan to get a pedicure this week, so everything’s painted real nice and extra soft.

P.S. Please don't be weird about this, Feet Guys.

P.P.S. This picture is disgusting. I don’t blame you if you fall out of love with me. (But please don’t!)

P.P.P.S. As I was taking this picture of myself, my juggalo came to get the jewel off for me. We are soul sisters. She knew what was going on and took care of me.